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Old 03-16-2012, 08:46 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kemie View Post
He'll probably find this and read it. I considered changing my screenname, but he'll likely hunt it up anyway. This is, as far as I know, unusual behavior from Legs stemming from insecurity in the relationship. It's odd for him to breach my privacy like this...

So my question is: how do I pre-empt this kind of behavior? I feel as if I'm repeating myself every time he gets frustrated and upset. Looking for some help here.
This is a public forum. No privacy to breach, really. This forum is searchable in Google, so if you want to keep things private here, you either disguise all details and use aliases no one would ever guess. Either that or you blog somewhere that gives you the ability to approve who is able to view it.

If you feel like he crossed a line and is being a bit overbearing or possessive in trying to find out what you're doing, you two should have a heart-to-heart. That being said, I don't think it's such a bad thing to let him in on your thought processes. You say you pretty much live together.

To address the primary/secondary nomenclature, you don't have to use those terms. But I know some people just use them for simplicity's sake in explaining who's who, although they'd never actually think of any lover as secondary.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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