Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
Reading this thread confirms my instinct: it's difficult to strike the balance between too much information and too little. Erring to much, either way, could be bad.
Well I'd say be ready for the worst but expect the best
I told my now 14 year old daughter maybe 3 months ago or so. On some level she may have known, but it still came as a surprise. She was incredibly open to the idea and I think that comes from our family discussing things like tolerance of religion/orientation and how not everyone conforms to society's 'norms' and that's OK. She had some questions centered around jealousy...and we addressed them. I gave her a G rated version of the relationship because she does not need details, she can fill in the blanks. So far, so good.
My son was not told anything. He's turning 11 soon and started to notice how much I 'liked' my boyfriend and how I was spending time with him by going over regularly. He told me just the other day that he could tell I 'liked' him and that I was probably 'socially' attracted to him. That last bit almost make me laugh uncontrollably :P (he obviously meant sexually attracted but misheard and misspoke the term and that was priceless, lol.)
All I did was agree that I liked him and told my son we got along well. He was satisfied with that. I'll deal out info as required, in small amounts since he's still a bit young.
Good luck with your plans