Originally Posted by Phy
As I received this answer to something I wrote on BalckUnicorn's block and it didn't fit the general discussion there (no need for highjacking
) I will answere it here:
Well this may have been a factor. What mainly helped us wasn't so much the friendship, as this had mainly only developed between Lin and me and Sward and Lin never interacted with each other besides me being present as well. What really helped were the years that went by during which we all 'kind of noticed without talking about it'. Lin knew that he was in love, I knew that I was in love two times, Sward knew that there was some kind of connection, but none of us made sure of what exactly he/she was dealing with there and all have had their time to adjust to the possibility and idea of some kind of alternative.
The idea had time to sink in. There haven't been any outside expectations or some kind of pressure applied to each individual to cope with a specific situation or feeling besides the basic ones. That's maybe why Sward was able to call Lin family, as he knew about him quite well and cared for him just because I had done so all the time already and therefore saw this special connection between us being established years before I told him about my feelings.
The other basic positive factor would be our personalities and their compatibility obviously. That part was a real simple but also amazing fit.
At least that is what I have come up with till now.
Sorry about highjacking BlackUnicorn's thread. I do agree that a lot of it had to do with your personalities and basic compatibility (and I think the fact that both of your guys are fairly laid back). But I do think that you laid a lot of groundwork in those years that you hadn't acknowledged that you loved Lin to anyone else. That is incredibly different than the people who move others in after only knowing them a very short time. I understand that impulse also (I'd love to have my boyfriend live with my husband and I, but we've only known each other 5 months and it'd be a really bad idea) but I don't think it's particularly wise to give into it.