Sounds like you summarized how you feel and think and now that someone read the truth you want to back peddle to not hurt someones feeling. If things are built around someones schedule I'd agree that doesn't seem equal ... or co- primary like. Hey nothing wrong with that either.
"How do you preempt the behavior".....Does he have children .....The loving one child over another analogy sometimes works unless they got siblings where their parents had a favorite. With the food one I wanted to know which food I was ....what food the other guy was. In your example which one is he Steak or pie or rather who is steak and who is pie. I'd want to know.