Originally Posted by PolyCurious4
Perhaps the answer is rather than planning evenings for the four of us perhaps it will require we plan completely separate date nights.
Sounds reasonable to me. Try to achieve balance so that no one is left feeling that they are stuck at home babysitting while everyone else is off having a good time. Those emotions will likely come at some point, no matter what you do, but making sure that you always have dates at the same time isn't completely safe either. If things are not progressing well with your hubs and her, they might end up feeling they are obliged to date so that you and your beau can have a date without feeling guilty. Cultivating independence is probably the way to go.