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Old 03-15-2012, 10:52 PM
Qarzan Qarzan is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 39

Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
It makes sense to me. It wouldn't work for me, so much, but it makes sense. If it's not something you prefer, it's not something you prefer.

It's been an issue for me, in my life, who makes advances and who doesn't. I was shocked to arrive in the world of other people and discover the ones with penises weren't much receptive to my openness (or 'advances').

I dated a boy in college who was a big pothead. He was always after me to try it, and I kept trying, but it did nothing for me. Finally, one day, I actually was high, and horny as hell. He got all bent out of shape because I was being sexual with him. (coincidentally, I spent the next 10 years living as a lesbian)

I discovered my relationships are much more successful if I step back, just a little, and let men make advances. I'm quite receptive, however. I wouldn't dream of turning down a date without offering an alternative ('would you like to go to dinner on Thursday?' 'oh, not on thursday, but I'm available next Tuesday' or whatever).

So, I'm not sure if you mean advances, or just confirmation that you're welcome ~ because I see those as completely different.

Maybe the difference in western swing and tango? (I'm not much of a dancer, but I've spent my share of time...) My teacher of western swing said, 'it's the man's job to make the space and direct her and get outta the way' whereas I see tango as each partner having a part to do, it's not *just* about the leading.
I suppose I meant more along the line of advances. R is good at giving confirmation that my advances are welcome, but doesn't make any advances herself. H has made nearly all the advances, and I feel like I was just bowled over (which I really like).

As an update to my situation, I sent H a text on Tuesday, facebook message on Wednesday, both of which she replied to. Both messages I sent were upbeat and flirty. Then I felt really depressed last night because I really missed her. I didn't really want to tell her because I didn't want her to think I was desperate or needy. Then I thought, "What the hell, I should feel free to express myself how I want."

So I texted her this morning, "Hi, [H]. I miss you [broken heart emoticon]. Can I call today?" She hasn't responded, and it's been about 8 hours. I assume she's busy, but the unresponsiveness is eating me up inside. She has been posting on facebook, so I know she at least has time for that...

On the other hand, R has texted me. She is sick today, and I felt the need to take care of her, so I asked if she needed anything. She said she's fine and doesn't need anything. R might just be the right thing to keep my head straight while H is away.

Please let me know what you think of what I'm doing. Anything glaringly wrong that sticks out to you?
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