I don't have a lot of advice, but if you don't feel in your heart that your relationship with S is secondary, you don't call it that just because your relationship with A gets scheduled first just because there is limited time to see them.
I don't consider that putting A first at ALL, it is ensuring you get to see somebody you care about on a consistent basis, during the only time you can see them. Since you are the one who phrased it and feels you are "putting A first" I would wonder if you say that because you WOULD put him first if given a choice, or because you feel guilty about scheduling that time so you can see A regularly?
edit: If he is going to be watching what you say on the forum, why don't you encourage him to join and post himself? The sticky on books and websites also has some great links for mono-poly relationships, if he hasn't been reading on the subject already.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Last edited by Anneintherain; 03-15-2012 at 09:50 PM.