Originally Posted by Somegeezer
Get communication sorted.
Understand how important that is and find happiness, or just wallow in your own misery, being someone you're not.
It's harsh, but true. Sugarcoating this obviously would not help you at all... and even then, I doubt you give a shit about what I just typed out. But it's your choice in the end.
and a big +1 to that.
There is a very important emphasis on communication with partners that I have seen over and over in this forum, and books and blogs on polyamory. This argument is a powerful tool for any relationship - and a necessity when first introducing polyamory to a SO. But equally important is timing. How often have we read about going slowly, not rushing, taking time to allow one's SO to realize that this isn't about losing her mate, but more about not claiming me as a possession. This won't go well if I just unload on her when she has indicated she's not ready yet to hear what I have to say.
You are right with what you say - but she's not as free of our cultures restraints yet to be in the right frame of mind to hear what I am going to tell her.