So day 1 did not start this challenge off in the best way. Nancy was completely stressed out about money and our household finances which left her stressed, anxious and in a bad mood. She pulled out of it for the most part until bed time where she had a bit of a freak out.
So her general mood made the atmosphere feel uncomfortable for a while and generally when that happens is I avoid touching her becuase I'm never sure if it'll make her snap at me, (she can be testy during her stressful moments but aren't we all!). So the brave thing I did was ask for alone time with her wherre we watched our favorite tv show. I tried to intitate cuddling or show her affection by hugs and kisses but she was generally unresponsive. I tried my hardest not to let this make me upset, especially when I saw her being very loving with our boyfriend.
What was helpful:
I moved outside of my comfort zone and acted instead of waiting. I proved to myself that I can move beyond what worries me.
Unfortunately, her reaction didn't make me feel any less like she was disinterested me. But she did reveal that part of her weird behavior toward me was a really bad dream she had about me that made her uncomfortable. So at least I understood why she was weird that night. But it didn't make me feel better in the sense that it was one explanation for tonight and not for previous interactions.
But I'm sticking to my plan!