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Old 03-14-2012, 09:35 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarbooger View Post
I didn't want to talk to her because I wanted to avoid the conversation about what had happened. We ended up talking and I couldn't stop thinking about me feeling yukky, the sex in the house, and how I didn't get to have that sort of pleasure.
Why yukky? Your avoidance backfired as continued fighting, so I think that's a valuable lesson there

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarbooger View Post
I felt really excluded. I didn't call anyone any names...
What names would you have called them? They are in a relationship, right? And there's no boundary around "sex must always happen just among the three of us"? As I understood your introductory post, you try to spend equal one-on-one time with each pair of the group.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarbooger View Post
I talked to my spouse and asked him if there could be a rule that when one of us is upset with the other if we could refrain from fucking each other. He said that wasn't fair.
Well it isn't. If the fight was between you and her, why should the relationship between him and her suffer as a result? Why didn't you ask them together for this boundary? Was the plan to only punish her in that you and your spouse could still continue on with sex, business as usual? If not, why wasn't she asked but instead you approached your hubs first?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarbooger View Post
It seems to be coming from all directions.
Which directions? What exactly are you upset about? Just because you feel something, excluded for example, doesn't mean you are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugarbooger View Post
I'm sure it will blow over, I just can't stop feeling yukky about this first squabble of sorts.
You had a disagreement, it was a first, lots of negative feelings, you felt envious, frustrated and alone. It happens. How long have y'all been together?

There is in-fighting in our triad/vee also, and it feels sucky to be the person who is left at the sidelines to watch two loved ones at each other's cases, but I don't see why the person who isn't part of the fight would have to pick sides. It can only make things worse, and create more resentment.
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