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Old 03-14-2012, 05:22 PM
LusciousLemon LusciousLemon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Detroit Metro, MI
Posts: 26

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
I am going to suggest some interesting ways to get chat-time.

- I think you might have to look at the option of going to bed MUCH earlier, and getting up earlier. Early in the morning, is when kids tend to be happy to eat, and play amongst themselves for a bit. The day is just getting started, so you wont have that 'parental-guilt' about spending the quality time with them. You`ll know you will see your children later on in the day for that.

- Driving in a car. My husband and I, would go together to MANY places, that we didn`t really need to travel together. Why ? Well glad you asked,.......because you can get a lot accomplished in the 'talking' category when children are buckled into their car seats. Less fighting, less talking, no running around. This is a perfect time to discuss things.
Unfortunately going to bed earlier and getting up early is not an option for face time here unless I want to give up my time with S, and that is not an option for me. She is my first priority when it comes to relationships. The issue is she works nights so she will never be an early riser as long as this is the case. On a typical night she gets off work between Midnight and 2am. I simply cannot expect her to be up early, so if I want to be able to spend time with her on her days off I need to be able to be up later in the evening, not early in the morning when she isn't awake anyway. B also tends to work evenings, getting off at 11:30pm. So the morning thing would only really work for L and I and then at the expense of our primary relationships. The car idea is very good though.

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
If this is more then 'transitional' type of place in life, that may be why you feel the outsider. Because you are. Your partner might be identifying indirectly with them. She is going through transitions, and struggling, and so are they. That is very bonding. You are being viewed as 'the rock', and the person with their shit-together.

Man does this hit home, and it HURTS! After the first incident with all of them, when we finally got the 4 of us together to talk they were sitting there joking up a storm and L turned to me and said "Okay (Lemon) bring us back to earth and let's get this started". I'm totally viewed as the most mature and stable person, and honestly now that I think about that I feel it is really unfair. I am expected to be the "rock" and maintain stability for all of them. But it's not as if I'm not going through transitions of my own. My own life is very strongly in transition alongside S's, not to mention that any relationship development is transitional for all involved. Oh so many emotions. :/
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