Originally Posted by Danny40179
Yeah, that's another one of those time things. In my experience in this lifestyle, that was the only thing that really showed my wife that I didn't love someone else more than her. That along with constant, and I mean constant reassurance. Make sure your wife knows that it's not a comparison game. Has she read, or done any research on the poly lifestyle? That might help her. Maybe if she came here and asked a few questions. Big thing to remember too, is to put no pressure on her. She'll come around on her own time. That may not be the schedule that you were hoping for, but if you want it to work (and I know that you do) then she's gonna have to work through things on her own.
She does know it's not a comparison game; I've made that abundantly clear... I also have given her tons of reasons why I'm not leaving and why I haven't stopped loving her or even CHANGED my love for her at all. We've both been doing a lot of reading about poly and stuff, and I've requested some books from the library too, so as soon as those get here we'll start looking at them more.
She's been reading this thread; she hasn't joined the forums yet, but she probably will.
My attitude about this is that we have all the time in the world -- S says that he doesn't want anything else and that he's not going anywhere, and L says she wants this to work out, and I know I'll do whatever it takes to help that to happen. I have nothing but time, and, being a student, all i have this summer is my summer research and the two of them, so by the end of the summer (3 months from now), I think we'll have some sort of workable schedule and whatnot for next school year. S just graduated, so he's doing the job search, and L is about a year and a half behind me, so we'll be in this area for quite some time yet. And i'm not pushing things, because i tried that and it blew up in my face
, so i won't be doing that again!!