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Old 03-14-2012, 04:53 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
I told her she needs to tell me these things up front so I don't sit there wondering what the hell is wrong with me and she told me I need to stop reading into everything so much.
LOL! This sounds so familiar. I'm the emotional one that will read into stuff. The problem here is that it becomes a vicious circle. As long as she is withdrawn and NOT telling you what's going on, you will read into stuff. Yes you can make the effort to NOT read into stuff as much, but she also needs to make an effort to keep you clued in to what's going on with her.

My husband will get offended if I ask "What's wrong", because in his mind, there is nothing "wrong", he's just thinking. It didn't occur to him that his non-responsiveness would have a negative effect on me. I have had to learn (still learning) to say things like "Something is off, I can't put my finger on it, but something is just off with you, can you clue me in a little because I'm starting to take it personally? If you need more time to process before giving me details, fine, just keep me in the loop." This seems to work for us better than anything else.

I'm chalking this day up to us being overwhelmed. We always seem to fight after big events and a week vacation followed by me proposing is about as big as it gets.
This also sounds familiar.
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