Oh thank god, I must have then misunderstood you (I think from this)
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
... for Cookie not to start moving into our place,...
I think taking time for the two of you can't be a bad thing to calm things down.
Though, I think it would be even more important to Vanilla to see that you can take her into account also when Cookie is around and not just when it's the two of you.
Originally Posted by Phy
I disagree as I know how I can be at times without having any bad intentions. I sometimes don't get it. It's as simple as that. I sometimes need someone pointing out to me what I have caused by behaving like this or like that. Therefore, no, it shouldn't be a responsibility, but it can help to bear in mind if a person is bad at picking up signals from others in special situations. I am often made aware of my shortcomings in regard to interaction with others, and I am extremely thankful to my close friends and family minding it.
I don't particularly disagree with you. I guess it's about some kind of balance though. It is unreasonable to expect anybody to be completely mindful in every situation, and one should speak up. However, I do think it isn't the best dynamic if one has to constantly prod a person to get their attention/regard. Oh and yeah, you haven't had poly-drama (I knew there must be an exception to the rule and I must be forgetting some situation).
BU, good luck