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Old 03-14-2012, 03:47 PM
LusciousLemon LusciousLemon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Detroit Metro, MI
Posts: 26

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This is unusual enough to have a name for it? I wouldn't think there would be any other way. A child is upset, comfort him or her. What are parents doing these days that this is unique? <sigh> Never mind my tangent, I'm child-free myself but just had to comment.
Unfortunately, yes this is unusual enough to have a name for it. Most of the parents my age I know put their kids in their rooms at night, and block the door some way, and the child stays in there regardless with the parent at most coming back in to say "go to sleep". L and I are possibly extreme the other direction, both still nursing children over 2 years of age while also nursing our younger children. We both have done lots of research on evolutionary and biological human norms and believe that human children self-wean between the ages of 2 and 7 years and that we will do our best to support that while still respecting our own needs in our nursing relationships. So we both still nurse our children to sleep and our children sleep in the same rooms we do (anything sexual happens elsewhere).

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Do you mean they have a rule that both of them must be involved sexually at the same time whenever they are with one of you? Or do they insist that it be both of them with both of you all the time?
The rule is both of them or neither of them. Our rule is actually the opposite. Because of the way things started I feel I need to develop my relationship with them, at least physically, independently of S so until I feel comfortable in that regard I have asked that physicality with them be with only one or the other of S and I at a time. I know myself enough to know that if it were all 4 of us in a room and the 3 of them started getting physical I could very easily be pressured into something I am not ready for, and probably without even speaking up enough to let them know I'm not ready. I also would feel like I was just "along for the ride" so to speak and being involved just because I was there and not because L and B really wanted to be involved that way with me, so I do not want to put myself in that position.
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