Hell, I don't know how to categorize it. I said something that upset our lover about her not telling a potential lover about me and my spouse. she called it out, I tried to take it as constructive criticism, thought she had been acting a little defensive, and just let it eat my lunch all day. Do you know how hard that is to suck that in all day long at a new job and act like nothing is wrong? Yuck.
I came home and cried. Then I remembered that she and my spouse had a "lunch" date today and felt all the sexual energy in the house. I was livid. I kicked the chair and stubbed my toe.
I didn't want to talk to her because I wanted to avoid the conversation about what had happened. We ended up talking and I couldn't stop thinking about me feeling yukky, the sex in the house, and how I didn't get to have that sort of pleasure. I felt really excluded. I didn't call anyone any names but I ended up getting so frustrated that I shut down over the phone. We decided to end the call and I said a really sarcastic, "bye!" Then I cried and cried.
I talked to my spouse and asked him if there could be a rule that when one of us is upset with the other if we could refrain from fucking each other. He said that wasn't fair. We talked for a while and I started to feel a little better, but there's this residual anger I just can't shake. It seems to be coming from all directions.
I ended up calling and making amends to our lover, but I still just feel icky. I'm sure it will blow over, I just can't stop feeling yukky about this first squabble of sorts.