Originally Posted by Anneintherain
Slap yourself in the head and reread that post! Stop after "She said yes and we drove back home so she could see the kids"
If she is not ignoring you and wandering around in a haze of NRE babbling about how amazing this person is (even if she IS) why are you borrowing trouble after getting through the week in such a shining fashion? If you already had insecurities about your sexual interaction with her, keep working on it, and if you didn't, why would you start thinking negatively now? The chances are pretty miniscule that different sex means better sex, and pretty good that the thought "oh I wish he was doing that like KyleKat does it instead" may have flitted through her mind at some point.
Yes, she is home. Don't let anything else matter except that she loves YOU. Glad you realize you're being an idiot
This is our problem. She is much less emotionally driven than I am and that leads to my frustration when she isn't bouncing off the walls over me. I know she wasn't thinking "this guy is so much better than my husband" because I know my wife, but after having an emotionally charged day preceded by an emotionally void week, I lost it. I ended up going downstairs to sleep on the couch so we wouldn't fight, she asked me to come back up, asked me what was wrong, I told her that after a week apart all I wanted was her affection, she told me if I hadn't been so busy picking a fight and reading into her emotions (which I am more than clear on how she works and apparently chose to ignore it like a moron), we fought, she cried, I felt horrible and calmed her down. We talked, and she told me that she's just burnt out from all the emotions she's been feeling from this past week. For someone that's pretty low key on the emotional scale it was probably traumatizing to have been like that for a week straight. She said it felt like one big first date. A week long first date. I can't even imagine how awesome that would be for me and how miserable that would be for her.
I told her she needs to tell me these things up front so I don't sit there wondering what the hell is wrong with me and she told me I need to stop reading into everything so much.
I'm going to do my best here to make sure this doesn't happen again. I don't know how, because it always starts with me asking her to talk about stuff and it ends with us miscommunicating. I need to come up with something, though, and move forward instead of spinning my tires in the mud.
I'm chalking this day up to us being overwhelmed. We always seem to fight after big events and a week vacation followed by me proposing is about as big as it gets.
Edit: the only thing that worries me is that my sex drive is way higher than hers. It makes me feel insecure that she doesn't want me as much as I want her. She is gorgeous, and especially so to me, and recent events such as her losing weight and me not have made me insecure about my sexiness. I'm starting my workout regime again tomorrow which will do two things. We fight less when we exercise and I'll feel better about my body.