Originally Posted by redpepper
Ya, its just me, but I would be against her meeting anyone and I would not really want her in my life also. I think I would be asking my partner to take it all elsewhere until she is an honest woman. To me there is no reason to support cheating.
It's not just her. I was going to talk about how you'd feel if you DID have another partner you wanted to integrate into your social circle, and suggest you think about how you'd like your husband to handle that. However, once you said she was cheating on her partner, I thought "I would be against her meeting any of my friends, and I would not want her in my life". I however wouldn't ask my partner to take it elsewhere until she came clean, as my husband wanting to date somebody who was cheating would have already led to an "ethical non-monogamy(me) or her" ultimatum.
Are you comfortable with this? If you would willingly date somebody who was cheating you might not be bothered by it at all, but if you wouldn't, it sounds like a good discussion of what is or isn't poly for you and your husband is due, to see if he even identifies as poly. Although polyamory might be directly translated as many loves, there's no way I can define it for myself that doesn't include ethical.