She said yes!
Yesterday I went and bought a ring, got my hair cut, got my eyebrows trimmed (they were unruly, it was painful, let's move on), and shaved (rare for me).
Today I went to the build-a-bear workshop, recorded "(full name), will you marry me...again?" and then drove to pick her up. When I picked her up, I told her how our first marriage was all backwards. We had kids first, I didn't propose to her on one knee, we didn't have the wedding how or where we wanted, and we married who we thought we knew, not who we really were. Then I said, "What I guess I'm trying to say is" and had her listen to the build-a-bear while I knelt down and presented the ring. She said yes and we drove back home so she could see the kids.
On the way back she told me about her trip. Her and him are apparently not boyfriend/girlfriend and it does not appear that will change. I'm not going to share the details but I feel bad for her. I was a little frustrated by the situation at first but I understand everyone's view and I am putting it behind me.
I asked her to tell me details about their time together and realizing I wished I hadn't. She didnt share much at all and refuses to compare us but due to my own unhealthy obsession I can't help but compare. Now I'm wondering shit like was he better? Why don't we do that as often? Etc. shit that makes no fucking sense because it's a new relationship and of course you have more sex in the beginning and of course there's going to be fun stuff if you know you have a free pass. I got frustrated and wasn't able to get myself in the mood and yeah. Long story short I'm typing this on my phone instead of enjoying my wife's company. She's home. What does anything else matter? It doesn't, but apparently I had to say it here before I realized that. I'm an idiot.
She's got a lot on her plate. I just need to relax and give her time to process.
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith
Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old