View Single Post
  #2  
Old 03-13-2012, 08:16 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,342
Default

Hmmm, I wonder why you're not happy and celebrating their news with them. Why are you so terrified? Here's an idea. Instead of focusing on what you will or will not be getting out of this situation, what about focusing on what you can give to the expectant mother as a friend? Instead of feeling left out, what can you do/offer/take charge of to be more a part of everything? It just sounds like you have trouble stepping up and taking a stance, whether it is stating your needs plainly and clearly, asking for what you want, or taking the reins to participate with everyone rather than waiting for them to do what you hope for.

Might be time to call another meeting and have everyone sit down and discuss how this pregnancy will affect the living situation, and what all of you need to feel safe and secure in your relationships.

And if you're done with being involved with L and B, just make a choice instead of waiting around for something to happen. Go all in or get out and just let S have a relationship with them. I just don't see much benefit from twisting yourself into a pretzel to try and eke some satisfaction out of a situation that always leaves you feeling on the outs.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-13-2012 at 08:21 PM.
Reply With Quote