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Old 03-13-2012, 06:01 PM
LusciousLemon LusciousLemon is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Detroit Metro, MI
Posts: 26
Unhappy Feeling like I just got punched in the gut ...

It should be exciting news, it really should, but it's NOT for me. It's making me very very sad and very very nervous and I just want to cry. I posted recently about a brand new relationship that was attempting to develop in my house: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21713

Basically, as a recap, our live in room-mate couple were beginning to develop more of a loving relationship with my wife, and had the potential of doing the same with myself. We were getting places, I thought, though there have been multiple times that I've felt like I've personally been ripped back down out of the relationship (I know, melodramatic but that's how I feel right now) but I'd been able to get past them and feel like a connection was forming.

Well ... we all just found out that L is pregnant. L is the female half of the male/female couple that are our room-mates. I'm just terrified that what with the emotions and aversions and exhaustion and everything that comes with pregnancy, that any potential relationship we could have had is not really possible anymore. I've felt from the beginning of this like I was being sort of jerked around. Like my emotions were on a string that I had absolutely no control over, and I'm just ... feeling so done right now. I don't WANT to feel done, I want to keep trying to see where this could go. But this seriously feels like the universe is saying "Nope, not for you".
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