Poly relationships and your social life
My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. We opened up our relationship 3 years ago - at first it was just for mostly sexual playing with others (swapping with other couples, threesomes) but this quickly led to 1 on 1 encounters with others, and that in turn led to connections with others that were (are) much more than just sexual. This as a little background.
My husband has been with his current girlfriend for about 7 months now. I've known about her from the beginning, she's been and stayed at our house (when I was away), they went on trips together. But. I only met her in person for the first time this weekend.
It was hard for me. I had not had a lot of jealousy issues lately, but meeting her brought back a whirlwind of insecurity and low self esteem related emotions. I'm glad I met her, and I'll work through these emotions, so that's not the issue here. But what I have been thinking about a lot now, is where this first step will lead us.
I know my husband is eager to introduce her to more parts of his daily life - invite her to events, meet his / our friends, etc. Obviously I had to meet her first, but now that that is out of the way, he feels we can move on. I'm not so sure. I have a really hard time imagining her coming somewhere where a lot of our friends are. We've known most of our friends for a very long time. Every one were close to knows about our situation, but I feel that 'knowing about it' and actually ' knowing her' are very different things.
I guess I would prefer to keep things more separate. I have 2 lovers, they both live in different cities, and although we have a deep and meaningful connection and talk about our lives and the things that go on in it, I have no desire to introduce them into my social life.
So obviously, husband and I have different wishes and preferences here. How do other people in poly relations deal with introducing 'secondary' or other relationships into their regular lives?
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 2 + years
Last edited by Cleo; 03-13-2012 at 04:07 PM.
Reason: edited for typo