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Old 03-13-2012, 03:55 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 418
Default Poly relationships and your social life

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. We opened up our relationship 3 years ago - at first it was just for mostly sexual playing with others (swapping with other couples, threesomes) but this quickly led to 1 on 1 encounters with others, and that in turn led to connections with others that were (are) much more than just sexual. This as a little background.

My husband has been with his current girlfriend for about 7 months now. I've known about her from the beginning, she's been and stayed at our house (when I was away), they went on trips together. But. I only met her in person for the first time this weekend.

It was hard for me. I had not had a lot of jealousy issues lately, but meeting her brought back a whirlwind of insecurity and low self esteem related emotions. I'm glad I met her, and I'll work through these emotions, so that's not the issue here. But what I have been thinking about a lot now, is where this first step will lead us.

I know my husband is eager to introduce her to more parts of his daily life - invite her to events, meet his / our friends, etc. Obviously I had to meet her first, but now that that is out of the way, he feels we can move on. I'm not so sure. I have a really hard time imagining her coming somewhere where a lot of our friends are. We've known most of our friends for a very long time. Every one were close to knows about our situation, but I feel that 'knowing about it' and actually ' knowing her' are very different things.

I guess I would prefer to keep things more separate. I have 2 lovers, they both live in different cities, and although we have a deep and meaningful connection and talk about our lives and the things that go on in it, I have no desire to introduce them into my social life.

So obviously, husband and I have different wishes and preferences here. How do other people in poly relations deal with introducing 'secondary' or other relationships into their regular lives?
early forties, straight.

Last edited by Cleo; 03-13-2012 at 04:07 PM. Reason: edited for typo
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