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Old 03-13-2012, 04:15 AM
LemonCakeIsALie33 LemonCakeIsALie33 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 73

Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
When I was reading your prior posts it sounded like you were having a lot of difficulty managing the situation and seeing that it wasn't cataclysmic. After I posted you replied to redpepper and I realized that wasn't the case but by that point it was too late to undo. I've been waiting for the past 30 minutes for you to reply so I could come back and say "my mistake! Read into your posts wrong!"

As far as the melancholy statement, I didn't mean for it to be condescending but I realize it was. Sorry about that. My point was more that you're still young and as redpepper has repeatedly mentioned, people go through hell and back in their lives and come out just fine. Don't give up! You don't need that much stress in your life, especially if you're attending a Top 10.
Thank you, Kyle!

Yeah, I don't choose stress (at least not on purpose), but sometimes it happens and you have to work through it.

Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
Ah depression. I've been there too and I can remember the first time something challenged me after coming off the medication I was sure that I was going to sink right back to that dark place again. Turns out it didn't happen, I coped and moved through it. Breathe and take one day at a time. Now you know what depression is like you're more likely to be able to catch it in the early stages.
I've never regretted my decision to avoid medication. It took a long time to get healthy, but now I know that it's all up here *taps head* and that my mental health won't come crumbling down if I forget to take a pill (as I've always been wont to forget). Some people need pills, and I'm just thankful I never have. I know I can do this. I literally went from suicidal to healthy with no pills. I can do anything - with enough support, and within my limits in my own time.

Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
You're 2 years out from that place now, so far you've been coping. Chances are that you can cope with this too. If you need to take a breather from the whole relationship situation for a few days and refocus on your school work. I know that for me at least stress is a major contributor to my emotional instability. If you can get on top of the school work the relationship stuff might not seem quite so monumentous.
That's the plan.

I'll never be on top of the school work, honestly. At this point I'll have to settle for 80% on top of it. We often lower our expectations here. Otherwise we die.

Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
You're right that in 5 year (regardless of the outcome) what's happening now won't seem like it was such a big deal. In 5 years you'll have a whole new set of things going on. Life never stops throwing those lessons at you. All you can do is to do the best you can with the skills you have. Do you have someone you can talk to who isn't involved in this situation? An outside perspective to unload on can be a big help.
I've been talking to several close friends and to some distant friends to a lesser degree.

And you kids here. You've helped me so much, I'm not sure you'll ever know.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Absolutely not. Its the story of my life. My hard work on becoming who I am meant that lesbians can not be as afraid, and poly people can not be either. If I were to die tomorrow I would be proud of who I am.

I am glad you can have that at YOUR age, rather than at mine. I was 30 when I came out as poly, having cheated my way their. I took on a lot of guilt and pain to get there and now I am free of it. So better to be free of it at the very beginning of your relationship life. Good on you.

It sounds like some respite from all of the changes you have been through is in need. I wish for you that it comes in good time.
Thank you. I'm feeling a bit better right now. I'm going to take this lull and work as much as I can right now, because who knows what tomorrow will look like. I'm feeling much better than I was.
Me: 22-year-old female, cis and queer, have identified as poly for ~2 years, currently in my first committed poly relationship

A: Poly boyfriend since 9/17/13, currently sexually open and not seeing other romantic partners but open to such in the future
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