Well its not been long since this all panned out though. Time. There is nothing but time. There is no rush for this to unfold I would think. Sometimes the joy is in the journey, not the destination.
I have met many people who I just haven't been able to be with because they have a different view than me or their partner does. It happens. The question indeed is how much to invest in the journey. People aren't going to have the same view on things. People don't all have the same view of poly.
I have found that if I go into any relationship with the attitude that I am curious about others and grounded in my own view then I feel much more content and like I can avoid situations that are not right for me. I go into each relationship/friendship/partnership valuing differences and seeing how to mold those differences into a relationship. I don't think anyone is right or wrong; they just don't know me or what I think yet and I don't know them.
Sometimes I learn something from them because I remain open to learn more... sometimes I have something to offer them and change occurs. If they decide that I am worth knowing, and I decide that they are worth knowing then the wonder and curiosity can begin. As soon as I go into it with the aim to change them, that moment of purity is lost. Just my take from a woman who went through the wringer with her poly boyfriend (its a huge part of my blog from Christmas 2010 until this past summer 2011). I'm passing this on as it might help you find some patience with him.