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Old 03-12-2012, 09:15 PM
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Tyleet Tyleet is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 8

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
It seems what to do then is to tell him that you feel those things and that in the future you would feel safer if he tells you if he is flirting with somebody, give him the chance to do that.
I have done, but so far no introductions are forthcoming.

Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
My husband at least doesn't really register this stuff as being anything I'd be interested in knowing even though I feel more relaxed when I know what is going on, so I just make a point of regularly asking him if he's talking or flirting or interested in anybody new. That takes some of the onus off of him, and empowers me to get the information I am curious about without making him into the bad guy for forgetting to keep me updated.
This seems like a good idea, and he says that would be fine. ;-) I want to make sure he doesn't feel like the question itself is intrusive or overbearing, but it seems like it wouldn't be. I would ask in such a way as to try to avoid that impression, surely.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
As for your request to say hi, it seems incredibly reasonable to me, and I think he should step up and honor it, even if it makes him and/or his new friend slightly uncomfortable. Even if poly weren't on the table, just wanting to meet your husband's friends would STILL be reasonable for someone with problems with anxiety. To avoid scaring her off, hubs should just keep it as light as possible -- "My wife likes to say hi to my friends, do you mind if I give her your email address? I promise she won't bite or send you an essay. " It might seem a little odd to her but it's such a small thing... if she's not willing to do that, it'd be hard not to conclude that she doesn't care about your comfort enough to bend even a little and that's not a good sign for someone who could be a future metamour.
EXACTLY. Thank you.
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