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Old 03-12-2012, 08:47 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonCakeIsALie33 View Post
And because of his insecurity, we don't get to be together. Eventually (even months or a year from now) we'd want sexuality, and he'd block it.

You might say he seems conservative, but they had sex on the first date. Really, he's just being insecure and, to my mind, rather selfish.
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It kills me that I'm asking so little - I want so little. And yet he's not even considering that his jealousy, his discomfort might be based on irrational beliefs. I asked her to show him the MoreThanTwo website, and she said she'd look it over and show it to him.
Read this back. Hear what you sound like? To me you sound whiney; like you're stamping your foot and saying, "I don't get to have that and you do. *whine* You're selfish.*whine*" Its not very considerate of his feelings, or hers. Sharing partners doesn't mean you get your way RIGHT NOW. It means having empathy, the ability to see the bigger picture, patience with peoples pace and learning curve, realizing that sometimes, you just don't get what you want.

Everyone has boundaries. This is his boundary. Good for him respecting that of himself. Now I think you should be respectful in return. After all, you are working towards a good metamour relationship just as much as towards a partnership with her. I woulkdnt be skimping on the respect if you want it in return.

If you think of this from a mainstream, non-poly perspective he might be thinking, "who the fuck is this person that they think they can waltz in on my new relationship and demand that they have a partnership just becase they feel all loving and sexy toward my gf." I think he's been kind to even consider it at this point. Cut the man some slack. He's giving what he can at this point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonCakeIsALie33 View Post
Do I try a non-sexual romantic relationship with her on a trial basis, for a month or two, while they both learn about polyamory, and check in with him and see how he feels afterward
bingo
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