I'm glad you're being honest, because I'm not looking for easy answers, I want to find the right ones. I don't expect trying polyamory will instantly cure everything, I'm just trying to figure out if not trying it is making me worse, and I guess I'm on here posting instead of actually trying it because I'm scared that it is.
I've been completely open with my partner about all this, and she has tried to be accepting about the possiblity, but since we had our first major talk about it last week she was in a really bad emotional state. Yesterday I calmed her down and said it was okay and we can carry on like before, that it didn't mean so much to me, and now she is a lot better, but I feel worse. At the time I didn't think it did mean a lot, especially compared to seeing how much she was hurting, but having said that to her I feel worse again