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Old 03-12-2012, 06:55 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by KyleKat View Post
I know what you meant. I was saying it's her decision as to when she broaches the subject with him.

I'm much newer to all of this and maybe I'm wrong here so I'm asking but do you think it's a good idea for her to bring this up to him now? Being sexual isn't something you should rush into. There's no reason to discuss it now if they don't need it now and are happy being romantic in other ways. As with other relationships, when the time is right is when you should approach that subject, at least in my opinion. I feel like he isn't going to be receptive to the idea especially if it's the OP that's bringing it up.

*shrug* Maybe I'm being naive but I think it's better to have a good time now and worry about the heavy stuff later, when it's necessary. She's effectively gambling that he's not going to just be like, "If you can't agree to this you can't see her" where as later on in the relationship when he realizes that his girlfriend's time is shared but her love is not he may be more receptive.

This is new for the guy as well as for the two of you.
Possibly leaving it would work. I have not known that to be the case. If I think that I would want to have sex with someone down that road I would be honest about that. I did say that she should go at his pace as much as she can, but sometimes that means no pace at all and that isn't okay either. If things are going well right now then great. The thing is that if she doesn't at least put it out there that this is likely going to lead to sex then when it comes up at that time it would be THEN that he will need to think about it, rather than having the chance to think it through and get the help and support he needs. If I were him I would want to know now, not later and possibly feel that the wool has been pulled over my eyes.

Also, to him, this might not be anything more than two women expressing the depth of their friendship. They are talking about a deeper bond and connection than friendship. I think that they should be honest about that and all it entails. That's my take on it anyway. Of course they will do whatever works for them. There is no "right" way of doing any of this relationship stuff.
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