Originally Posted by redpepper
If might be a good idea to tell him that eventually you will want that in your relationship with her but for now you are okay with starting off slowly and seeing how it goes. That his pace is important to you and that you wish to make sure that he is as comfortable as possible with this process.
This is reminding me of my journey with this with my partner Mono and my now ex, Leo. You can read about it in my blog from Christmas 2010 until the spring of 2011. It was a ride that I think ended my relationship with Leo. Neither of us were getting our needs met I don't think and as a result I was just not able to go to the depth that I am accustom to and really need.
She told him all that. He basically told her that to him, sex is almost sacred, more sacred even than love (he's very inexperienced - she's his first girlfriend and his first sexual partner). I made it clear to her, and I'm sure she did to him, that we'd take it as slowly as he needed.
I'll go read your story. Thank you so much for your support, Pepper.
Would you mind checking out my more recent post about this? http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22190