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Old 03-11-2012, 04:22 PM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
First, sorry wasn't my intention to upset you.
No harm done, it got me thinking which was actually good to encounter the root of the possible problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
And I'm sure I've thought of sex as time filler....once in a blackout I know I suggested it ..it was fun too.

Could I do what you do ....doubt it ....1) physiology and 2) I tend leave it all there emotional, ....mind and body. Switching gears ..starting over would be very difficult for me.
That would be something I could hardly do, if I think about it. It would be totally against my nature or style. I am in the mood or I am not, but getting in the mood when or even because I am bored and lazy ... no, I don't think that will ever happen.

Maybe you can think of it as some kind of additional gear already put on. It's not always the case but even if I am emotionally totally drained by the 'first encounter', there are still those emotions that can't be satisfied by sleeping with the respective other. It's the same kind of mechanism that prevents me from satisfying the need for one by being with the other. If I long for Lin, Sward can be as attentive and sweet and lovely and whatnot, this won't go away because of him trying to fill that void.

It was a huge problem when we were still separated and Lin was far away. Sometimes I stayed up longer just to prevent lying next to Sward as I knew that he wouldn't be the one I was longing for. That's why I think of comments stating that I will be well off in any situation as there is always one of my loves there to tend to me to be kind of wrong. This just won't do.

But I digress. What I wanted to say: It doesn't feel like switching gears and starting all over. At times like yesterday both urges are there simultaneously, if I satisfy one, there is still the one that was left alone during that time. And this one won't go away by itself.
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Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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