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Old 03-11-2012, 04:51 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
Not really comparable. Emotions don't follow the laws of physics.
True, but how often do you see the same relationship mistakes being made over and over again at least in part because the people making them are unaware of a pattern which is obvious to someone who has seen it before?
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
I've never read any of the books recommended, because I've never felt a need to.
I haven't read any of the usually-recommended books either, but I cover a lot of ground online and have found a couple of "mentors"—for want of a better term—in the local Poly community.

My point is that it's not necessary to start from first principles. When studying for my engineering degree I learned about the fundamentals of how electricity works and performed experiments which proved what the books told me. I wasn't expected to independently rediscover it all myself. Sure, he can say "no shortcuts, no help, no outside inspiration" but in my opinion there is no great virtue in doing things the hard way just because it's the hard way.

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
If I had ever reached a point where I felt I needed help or my husband or partner felt we needed help, then I would have been happy to do some reading and get other perspectives and ideas to help my own brain figure things out.
That appears to be where the OP is, but her partner refuses to do any reading because that would expose him to someone else's opinions and experiences.

Last edited by Emm; 03-11-2012 at 04:58 AM. Reason: raNdom capITalisAtion
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