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Old 03-10-2012, 10:28 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by Emm View Post
If he was trying to build a patio for the first time, would he start by nailing random pieces of wood together in a vaguely patio-shaped heap, or would he look at how successful patios are usually built and use that as a starting point?
Not really comparable. Emotions don't follow the laws of physics. As someone who did figure things out for myself (with my husband for the last 14 years and now also with my partner) I can maybe sympathize with him, depending on his reasoning. I've never read any of the books recommended, because I've never felt a need to. I may have taken a slower journey than some to get where I am, but I never had a problem with that. If I had ever reached a point where I felt I needed help or my husband or partner felt we needed help, then I would have been happy to do some reading and get other perspectives and ideas to help my own brain figure things out. I enjoy reading other people's stories on this forum because I'm hoping to make friends with people who understand and accept my lifestyle, but reading stories in a book doesn't give me that same possibility for connections with actual people.

But like I said, it depends on his reasoning. If the person he's in a relationship with would like him to do some reading and research, I would hope he'd be caring, respectful, and open-minded enough to do so.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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