View Single Post
Old 11-24-2009, 12:34 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,159

so, this propostioning that is going on, are they tangible people to have in your lives or are the questions and statements raised about preparing for the future of your "V?"
I'm not sure what you mean by tangible. The proposition to me-absolutely NOT happening. I don't feel that this is the time to even CONSIDER adding anyone new to the dynamic-at least on my end. I won't even CONSIDER any propositions for ANYTHING more than STRICTLY friendship from ANYONE as I've made clear to EVERYONE except Mono (j/k). Seriously though- I just think that would be f'd up.

I feel that we've changed a MAJOR dynamic in our lives by transitioning the relationship and don't feel that bringing in another person would honor the significance of that change or the importance of the time needed to process, institute and "perfect" (for lack of a better word) that change requires.

As for Maca. Honestly-I don't know. If you want more details-pm me.

Mono's situation is indeed different. I have wanted more of what you have LR in terms of approach and living situation, but it's not the right time and I am in no rush to push anything. There is still TONS to work on. The whole dynamic is in no way settled for us. I know it seems like it on here, but it isn't in real life. You are all coming from a far better position to create complete equality.
Believe me-I know all about the major difference between reality and the small piece of a picture one can see online. I completely understand what you are saying RP. I hope we are coming from a better position period-equality-inequality. There's a lot going on and to be perfectly frank I really think TOO MUCH is going on.

I wonder however if Maca is in fact completely ready to be okay with GG's role being more important? He says he is, but although you have known each other for years, your "outness" about your relationship with him (after cheating with him for so long) is still fresh and could possibly still sting greatly if Maca and he were to disagree with each other.
Frankly-I don't think he is. Fortunately on that note-Greengecko-like Mono-isn't either. He's very conscious of some of the changes. Some things already WERE more equal-like the kids. But some of the other stuff-no way. As I said before on another thread, I spend EVERY night with Maca-never with GG and that includes being alone Friday-not with GG. There are certainly things that aren't equal in REALITY at this point. But for ME I'm seeing the importance and need for that in order to "live with myself" in terms of ANY "third" not just GG. I feel much the same about my sister who isn't sexually involved in anyway.

One of the "potential" people has a spouse that makes my sister uncomfortable. My sister lives here. This may be Maca's house-but it's her HOME and she has a right to be safe, secure and comfortable in her own home. That puts a big huge red flag/deterrant for that "potential" person because her spouse would be less free to socialize here due to the impact on my sister.

Likewise-I don't think any of the four of us should be "dating" or "seeing" anyone who can't accept everyone in our home on friendly terms or who isn't "kid friendly" since our home is ALWAYS full of kids and THEY need to be the top priority-not our freaking sex drives.

I guess you'll see

good luck, and slow down girl! It's 1 here and I've spent the whole night catching up with you!
I type fast. I was really only online for a short time, then I logged off and went on with my evening. But I had a lot of thoughts in my head. Actually-MANY more than I started threads on-but wasn't sure about sharing them all in such an open community.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote