Originally Posted by theque
Yes, I need to do some more reading, but it's hard. I feel so pushed into all this that actively digging into it is a challenge.
Would it help if you approached your research as more of a journey to possibly help yourself feel better? Just because you read a book (or do anything else in regards to dealing with your feelings) does not mean that you have to commit to anything. You can walk away from reading a book on polyamory still thinking "This is not for me". And frankly, just about anything you find out that would help in a polyamorous relationship would also be helpful for a monogamous relationship, or even your relationship with yourself.
I'm really hoping that we are helping you, and not making you feel more pushed into polyamory. This is a deeply personal choice that only you can make, and I hope that we are conveying that you should make the choice that is comfortable for you.