Thread: fluid bonding
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Old 03-10-2012, 02:55 PM
noob noob is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 58

Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
Personally, if it became a shitshow, I would take that as a sign that person was not the partner for me.
Honestly this is a lot of why I am not sure if I want to be sexually involved with this person ever again. I love him, but my gut feeling is that that shouldn't have been the issue he made it into.


It makes absolute sense to go back and forth, when other circumstances change. How could it be permanent when other partners, unknown to you at time of bonding, are involved? Fluid-bonding is not just with your partner, it's with all their partners, and all their partner's partners. That's a lot of fluid.
Right. This is how I feel, but in practice, it didn't happen that way before I feel like you can't really commit to fluid bonding forever, and you can't even commit hypothetically to which situations you'd stay bonded in (e.g. "I'd stay fluid bonded if you took another partner but used condoms with her")...because it honestly depends on who the partner is, who her partners are, and how many people are involved with it all, and their fluid bonding.


Slightly related note: is it strange that I would rather be fluid bonded with my secondary even if it means forgoing other opportunities? For example, if I knew that he'd want to go back to barriers if I started sleeping with my ex, it would influence my decision of whether to sleep with my ex...

Please forgive me if I'm asking dumb questions. I'm still fairly new to poly.
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