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Old 11-23-2009, 11:45 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Someone told me once that men make friends with women in the hopes to fuck them, women fuck men in order to deepen their friendships with men. I have noticed this to be true several time in my life and have almost relied on it when sleeping with someone for the first time. I always remain slightly aloof as a result until I know for sure they are actually seriously interested in more with me than sex. There have been times when I have purposely slept with guys I am not really interested in in terms of romance but just to get past the whole sex thing to get on with being friends.

Right now I enjoy that the men in my poly community don't have access to me in that way. I am deriving some pleasure from it. I am finding poly men want to be my friend first! Imagine that! I still wonder if we got that sex thing out of the way if they would want to be still. I will not know that I guess.

Anyway, my point is that I am surprised that anyone would be surprised that his reaction was as such. He thought he could do it without recourse and that it would fun and maybe he loved her. No problem, he isn't poly. Why make him feel like shit for it. He's mono. End of story. He feels bad but will stick to his wife thank you very much. One never knows how these things will turn out until they are done.

I don't think your wife should take it personally. Its really nothing to do with her. Lesson learned, put out and see where it goes. If it increases a connection then go with it if its working, if not then let it go as just see it as an experiament, an interesting and a good time. I know that sounds horrible but it worked for me. Saved me a lot of heart ache.
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