SourGirl, I meant I have only seen that particular phrasing posted by men in that out of the blue context. And as early on in poly I would think of my husband as off having sex, which is a neutral non emotionally weighted term for me. However if we were having a fight/passing a new scary boundary my anger/fear would change my viewpoint to him being "off fucking
". Anyway, unless any OP writes about their partner being off fucking/screwing or whatever, it just seems odd and potentially hurtful to use that phrasing.
Sorry for the continued derailment KyleKat! I was wondering, do you have at least one or two times scheduled for your wife to be able to take a bit of time out to talk on the phone? Texts are great but you SHOULD be able to tell her you love her out loud. Every day if that will make you feel better. You can keep the conversations short if you worry that you're butting into her vacation, but it's really important to ask for what you want or need, especially at the beginning, to make sure you getting the habit of working actively to get your needs and wants met.
You do seem to be doing well, I remember early nights of no sleep and uncertainty about how weird it was going to be to see my (ex)husband after HIS flight home after that first time he had sex with somebody (it was). If things get stressful you can just netflix "The Human Centipede" or something to get your mind off stuff