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Old 03-09-2012, 06:28 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,546

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Sexist ...really. I was thinking of a "person " sitting home alone ...with his kids, empty bed, pictures hanging on the walls, cloths in the closets ....Its WAY FUCKING different than in a different city...someone else s home ...Constant distraction ...Seem that the "PERSON " stay home is going to do the heavy lifting ....Whatever the sex of that person. You've never been in this til you have might want to back of the sexist crap.
Well, I don't think sexism is crap, but you are right - I have never been in that position so I may have misunderstood your post. I apologize. Maybe the "heavy lifting" phrase confused me. I took your comment and SoCalDoc's as having something to do with traditional roles of husband and wife - hence, I saw sexism. In my marriage, I had been apart and longing for my husband when he was on business trips, but we were never poly so I don't know how it feels to know a spouse is with someone else intimately. But it does sound like the OP was finding some distractions and being with someone else for company, so that is good. I just took exception to the seeming assumption that his wife wasn't in just as much turmoil or struggling with it as he might be, just because she was the one away and with someone else. I know for myself, no one ever seems to be able to tell how much something is bothering me because I learned to hide it well. Maybe that's why I learned to speak my mind rather bluntly.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 03-09-2012 at 06:37 PM.
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