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Old 03-09-2012, 03:20 PM
Lariel Lariel is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 6
Question Am I Poly or just Depressed?

Hi everyone,

I've been reading through the vast swathes of advice and newbie threads, and while there is a lot of helpful stuff I can't seem to find anything specific enough to me to help sort my head out.

I'm a straight guy in my mid-twenties, in a mono relationship of 3 years with an amazing girl who I love dearly, but after dicovering polyamory last year (our housemate became a unicorn with another couple we knew) it seemed to explain some of the way my head works. I seem to be able to love everyone, or at least large numbers of people - I don't feel as close to anyone else as I do my partner, but there are plenty of people I feel close to and would be happy to have a relationship with.

My main problem is trying to figure out how typical this is. Some people seem to just know if they are poly or mono - my partner for example knows she would not want to be involved with anyone else while with me, but is (with some difficulty) trying to be okay with my possibly being poly. The worst part right now for me is not being sure!

So, how normal is it to feel affectionate for friends of the sex(es) you are attracted to, and to what degree? I'm fairly sure it is an attraction thing rather than just friendship because it's stronger for some female friends than the baseline friendship closeness I feel for other female friends and all male friends.

My other main problem is a long-term case of depression that has been amplified by various stresses in the last year, and my over-analysis of my own thoughts - trying to figure out why I am unhappy, if I even am unhappy, and if this whole thing is just me trying to sabotage my current relationship.

Any help people could give me would be great, and any insight from people who have been in similar situations
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