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Old 03-09-2012, 01:06 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Yeah, I would say that here it is a combo of protecting one's identity and just the fact that Bulletin Board type forums aren't really social networking sites and most people don't utilize the features available at forums for profiles. Also, since so much energy goes into creating profiles on Facebook, Google+, and dating sites like OKCupid, I am sure most of our members come here just for conversation, information, and private messaging. Plus this whole site is searchable via Google and other search engines, so any personal info you put in a post of your profile will be out there on the web.

BTW, in your profile here, you can set your albums to be private except for anyone whom you accept as a contact or "friend" on this board.

For myself, I don't put my personal info on the net at any site. I hate that I had to use my real name on Facebook and I use all the privacy options they make available there. Anyone who I connect with there really can't see anything - no pictures, friends, etc. This is the way I have been about this stuff for a long time, it has nothing to do with poly for me. Back in the 90s/early 00s, I had my credit card numbers stolen via an internet commerce site and, although that sort of info isn't required here, I feel like it is so easy for someone to steal an identity and really do a lot of harm, even though security measures have come very far since then. So, I am cautious.

I do have a professional website for a small business I have, and it killed me to put my name out there, but I had to accept that because it's business and there are press releases, news stories, and databases out there with my name in it, too. But personal stuff stays private. Plus, as a woman, I have to use caution for safety reasons. I've had two stalkers in my lifetime. Who knows what creeps are out there. I'd rather be overly cautious than not.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 03-09-2012 at 06:52 PM.
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