Oh and also, I have less of a clue as to what I would want out of a polyamorous situation than ever before!
I love the sanctity of the relationship I have with the Cuddler. We have big plans for what we'd like to achieve out of our life together "primary" stylee.
I'm scared though, because I am not sure that opening up my heart would prevent me from having those kind of feelings with another - but I honestly don't think that the Cuddler would cope with not being "primary" as far as my affections were concerned if not living arrangements.
Seriously, if I'd realised what a bloody headache finding out who I am is - realising/admitting I'm bisexual AND polyamorous - I don't think i'd have bothered. I have a lot else going on in my life that I didn't choose & if I'd known I might have chosen the 'ignorance for an easy life' route. Alas, it seems that is not what is destined for me!