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Old 03-08-2012, 12:00 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,148
Default Not weird...just unique...as are we all.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetRacer View Post
... my attraction to the male "gender". by gender, I don't mean biological sex, but the male gender role, as in MASCULINITY. and i mean strictly. For example, I would much rather date a tom-boy girl than a fem twink. I have no problem with fem people, that's just not what I am personally attracted to. So that is why I consider myself homogenderal and not homosexual.
I don't know how common it is, or whether there is a word for it (until you invented one ) ..but hey whatever floats your, um,.. "boat"! I'm attracted to feminine women and masculine men (I identify as bisexual rather than pansexual for this reason)...others are attracted to androgyny in either sex. Some lesbians may be attracted to masculine or feminine women or both. etc. etc. You've noticed a pattern about your attractions...and now you know yourself that much better (until, Whoops!, someone comes along that you didn't expect ... oh, well, you don't have stay in the "boat" ALL of the time - sometimes it's nice to go swimming!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetRacer View Post
I realized that my fantasy, and by fantasy I mean sexual and non-sexual, I see myself in a polyamorous relationship...I have began to think that I am polyamorous, in that I desire to be in a relationship with multiple people.
Yes, sexual AND non-sexual - not just sex but relationships with multiple people. Relationships are not all about sex but I think the sex part gets talked about a fair amount because that is where a lot of people (and society have hang ups). When you are building your "castles in the air" you are looking at what you want out of the whole of your life - not just what is happening in the "royal bedchambers".

Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetRacer View Post
Now as I understand, there are different types of polyamory.
That, my friend, is an understatement...there are as many different types of polyamory as there are people doing it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetRacer View Post
I think my case might be unusual, but considering I am here maybe not (which is why I am here to get a feel for what polyamory is like). But when I say I fantasize about a polyamorous relationship...in that I want the 3+ of us in an equal relationship, as in no two being more exclusive. I know there are many polyamorous relationships like this, but from my personal experiences, most polyamorous relationships I see deal with a couple that has already been dating many years, take on a third person. Also many times, while it seems to work sexually for a small time, that the third can cause issues, by sometimes feeling like he has come in between.
Yes, you will find lots of references to Unicorns and Unicorn Hunters on this site. Something to keep in mind, however, is that even if 3 people met at the exact same time and hit it off great, that doesn't necessarily mean that all of the relationships (A+B, B+C, A+C, A+B+C) would grow or evolve at the same rate or to the same degree. So at any point in time 1 of them could be the "third" causing issues for the other 2. Focusing on the journey (finding like-minded people and relating to them in whatever way feels right) rather that then goal (a specific relationship configuration) may reduce disappointment when things don't turn out exactly as you had planned (when do they ever?

Enjoy your journey!
JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-08-2012 at 12:03 AM. Reason: smilies
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