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Old 03-07-2012, 08:55 PM
Precious1 Precious1 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 34

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
The wife has several other partners and is unwilling to talk to you. Why? some bad blood. How did this all start for them? How long have they been doing this? How did you get involved?
No bad blood. She is very, very shy. I am his first partner that they did know socially as a couple first. They started in poly after she had a long term affair. When S overcame his feelings of hurt and betrayal and realized the relationship actually did not detract from their marriage, he suggested poly. That was about four years ago.
How did I get involved? S and I had been in love many, many years ago but due to fear had never disclosed our feelings to each other. We both married and moved away. Now decades later we are both back in hometown area. We located each other on Facebook, with a couple "hi" messages exchanged. About a year later, I had an open invitation on FB to join me at a flea market and S asked his wife her thoughts on inviting me to dinner with him afterwards. In all honesty none of us thought it would lead to this. He knew I was married at the time, and I knew the same of him. We respect that. He learned I was in process of leaving my abusive spouse and lived apart, and he disclosed his poly & happily married status (while I had been in DADT poly before, I did not have the vocabulary to go with it.) Our relationship developed from there as we discovered how our unrequited childhood love had not diminished.
He is currently my only SO; I am his only OSO. Neither of us are actively seeking other partners, but are open to that fact that it will most likely occur down the line.

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Did you invite the wife and all of her other partners to the commitment ceremony?
We have not had the ceremony yet. Yes, everyone is invited and we are excited to ask her and my son to be our attendants. The exact date is not set, but planning for next year fall.

but have you mentioned the babies and the moving in part?
He has talked about buying a big house for all of us.
As for babies.. no. He is fixed. And in all honesty, if I ever did win the lottery I would not go forward without her full support. I have talked about us being grandparents for all our future grandchildren, and my mother being a great-grandma.

I think you know that she wouldn't be happy with this, that is why S is avoiding telling her about the condoms.
She may or may not be in agreement, which is why he knows I am willing to forgo fluid bonding if not. As for his avoidance, I would tend to agree and have actually called him on that several times. If he chickens out and has unprotected, untested sex with her, we will simply go back to protection ourselves until it is discussed and decided one way or another.

Last edited by Precious1; 03-08-2012 at 02:29 AM. Reason: spelling error
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