Thank you to everyone who's responded so far.....more to think about. I really appreciate knowing there are other people navigating these wonderful and weird relationship....
On one had I identify wth Jade's comment and think that perhaps my relationship with Adam is too emotionally draining...at least at times, to be healthy.
But I also feel elements of what drtalon was saying about feeling safe enough or things to get space.
This week has been full of lovely simple times with Alexander, which are un-tearful and seem to ground be back in a stable place. It's a blessing to me right now to have these two men in my life (they know about the other, and have met briefly).....
Me: 24yrd old woman. Lex: my current partner (new this year) . Adam: my lover for 2.5 yrs. I have yet to be with another woman.