"Separate" isn't a word I want to see/think about when choosing this life. A lot of people have told me that my wife and I are "separating ourselves" by choosing this new lifestyle. That shouldn't be the case. This shouldn't be something that comes between you. If it is, it's not poly. It's seeing other people and not wanting to let go.
I would consider backing off the poly thing and going to see a counselor if you feel like the two of you are losing connection. At least talk to her and find out what's going on.
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is the regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." - Sydney Smith
Kyle: 27 year old male
Katie (rymmare): 25 year old female
Kids: girl: 5 years old, boy: 3 years old