View Single Post
  #19  
Old 03-05-2012, 08:29 PM
Scott's Avatar
Scott Scott is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: near Toronto, Canada -.-
Posts: 237
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What is the definition of "sex-negative" please? Who is this person in the videos? Thanks.
I`m surprised you would ask, since "sex-negative" is in this site`s terms and definitions thread you helped compile.
Could you or someone else link to that thread? Would like to take a look at the definition myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by feelyunicorn View Post
I would go further than the definition there, however, to say that sex-negativity includes a hierarchy between "love" and sex, which usually extends itself to "mind/spirit" vs. body.

In other words, it is derived from Platonic/Christian tradition in which spirit is superior and separate from the body.

The implication being that casual sex, or sex for sex's sake is inferior (or, downright morally reprehensible) to "love"; or, to put it into other words, that sex is only justifiable when "love" is present.

In which case, most prostitution would be reprehensible by definition. I think it would be wishy-washy to pretend that prostitution is "about love", but I have fallen in love with prostitutes and prostitutes have fallen in love with me. So, it does happen on rare occasions.

It took me a long time, and probably over 80 prostitutes, to realize that almost every (if not all) prostitutes have their "special client(s)", who eventually does not pay. It also took me some painful experiences in the track to realize that my ultimate desire when out looking for prostitutes is to be loved. And, how inadequate a way of going about it it is. I am nowadays much more careful about seeing prostitutes repeated times, precisely to protect my feelings against being unrequited.

Much has been said about the vulnerability of prostitutes and their feelings, but I feel a lot more has to be said about the vulnerability of johns. Yet, I do not wish to make it a pity party. Both prostitutes and johns consent to what they do, so if it hurts them, it`s up to them to stop it. I am definitely in favor of full legalization wherever it occurs. And, it does not always hurt. It can and is fun to both parties most of the time.

I would rather say that prostitution can be a precarious substitute for love in the event that one cannot find it in non-pay situations.
Interesting points. Since I haven't yet seen the sex negative definition on here, I will for now assume that you are correct in your understanding of its definition here. I recognize that you also added a bit to this site's definition. I think the real question here is, what is love? Put another way, can you love someone at first site? Do you need to know someone's story to love them? Or can simply looking at a picture of someone, or even a touch from said person get you to feel love? In the past, I've talked about one being able to define different levels of love, as well as the fact that just because you love someone doesn't mean you'll be able to maintain a relationship with them; unrequited love happens often. I think that there may be a meta state where if you love something or someone, it loves you back, but this goes beyond anything on the conscious level, so it's not really all that practical.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I'd much rather pay a woman for sex (which I did do for my first time) then pay for drugs for recreational purposes (something I've never done, unless you count chocolate :-p) because a woman is so much more interesting to me then any drug could ever be. That being said, the reason that I've only done it once is because ultimately, for me, if you're going to get to the point of actually being with a woman, I want there to be relationship material. Put another way, I'd rather have a woman friend then a woman I have sex with, and it's hard to have a relationship with someone who you're paying to make you happy. That and the fact that I don't have much money, laugh :-p.

There is, however, something that doesn't require much money where woman are still paid to do things; porn. It is, ofcourse, a very indirect type of relationship, especially if you're generally not one for the cam thing (which tends to cost much more then simply clicking on porn links, which is free). Porn, like sex work, is a very controversial subject; I think the last post I wrote in a poly board I was removed from had to do with porn. So I think I'll leave it at that for now.

Last edited by Scott; 03-05-2012 at 08:36 PM.
Reply With Quote