Please don't step back from the boards. Your commentary is as useful as everyone else's--and hearing from both sides of an ongoing relationship is always a good thing, particularly when the folks involved are honestly working on sorting things out.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.