I thought it was just a friendmance, like you said. I really did. But... last night I ended up sobbing in a corset and panties on my best friend's shoulder, in the middle of a hallway, over this girl.
Drunken and holding me as I held her up, she told me she loved me and hoped we were still friends when we were thirty (she's 19). I told her of course we would be, stroking her hair and feeling that familiar tug behind my sternum. She said how her boyfriend made her feel so beautiful, and I said, "You should feel beautiful. You are." She said, "Even when I'm pregnant, and fat, and farting?"
I said, "Always."
And she said, "I'm so glad you're my friend. I hope we're friends when we're old and gray."
All of this interspersed with talk of how much she loves her boyfriend, thinks he's perfect for her, doesn't fight with him, and thinks she wants to spend the rest of her life with him.
And I just started tearing up. I held it in and gave her back to her boyfriend (who was waiting in the hall because she'd briefly kicked him out of the co-ed bathroom to tell me about her feelings for him). Then I went back to my hall (same dorm) and just broke down.
I don't know what to do. Should I tell her how I feel? Her boyfriend is a very jealous person and wouldn't be okay with her dating me - in fact, if he knew she'd had sex with me he probably wouldn't want her seeing me at all. (Though I know she'd see me anyway and tell him that was unfair of him.)