Fear is always worse than the fact. You seem in a very bad place right now in your life. A place where you feel that you are reliant on others and have no choices and those others are letting you down. In no way are the decisions you have to take going to be easy ones but first, and before everything, you need to find a way to value yourself and realise that you are worth more than you are accepting. In all things.
Have you considered agencies who may offer support with an employment search? Employment which is residential. Voluntary work which is residential and would simply give you space and time to learn your own worth?
Only you can change your situation. And you can, one thing, one day at a time. Sometimes, just taking one day at a time is enough. Try not to look too far ahead until you have a stronger foundation.