Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
If we want to be CAPABLE of true fidelity-we MUST do our homework first. We MUST learn about ourselves, our needs, our wants, our abilities, or limitations. Otherwise we risk over-commiting ourselves and in doing so-raise the probability that we will break our commitments and that makes us incapable of fidelity.
This is one of the reasons I don't have a primary partner right now. My life is at a place where I would not be able to follow through with the commitment if I made one. However, this DOESN'T mean that I'm not capable of such a commitment or that I'm not ready for such a commitment or that I don't want such a commitment. Many people tend to think that because I'm not in a place where I can commit that I haven't "grown" enough or that I'm in some sort of "freedom seeking" phase. And often those perspectives come with a lot of judgement.
I don't have a primary partner because I know what kind of commitment it is and I know myself and my own needs enough to know that I can't make that work until other issues around my residency and stability in my logistical life are resolved. It has NOTHING to do with my ability to commit. It has everything to do with understanding and accepting my current circumstances.